


Sonata in C (for Castiel)

by oh_captainMYcaptain



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety Attacks, Castiel Plays the Piano, Complete, Cuddling & Snuggling, Declarations Of Love, Domestic Fluff, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Mentions of Heartbreak, Mentions of slight Alcohol Abuse, Naked Cuddling, Piano, Protective Castiel, Reader-Insert, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Teacher Castiel, Top Castiel, depressed reader, mentions of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-11-04
Packaged: 2018-03-25 08:56:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3804436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_captainMYcaptain/pseuds/oh_captainMYcaptain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During a difficult time in your life, you decide to start practicing the piano again. Who would've guessed your teacher would be so damn hot? And imagine your surprise when he seems to be just as into you as you are to him. When things start to get intense, can you keep your head and enjoy the attention or will the pain from your past having you facing the music?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

You stood on the stone path of the beautiful two-floor home and gazed with wonder at the sight before you. Vines crept up the front on either side of the wooden door, their green leaves dancing in the late summer breeze. The door itself was imbedded in an arched entryway made of the same redbrick that built the whole of the house. Two windows, one on each side of the entryway and both framed in white, were on the ground level; two more matching windows some ways above them showed a glimpse of the second floor. Facing the house, the two windows on the right were partially blocked by the vines. Small flowerbeds under each of the ground floor windows were well kept with various blooms adding a splash of color that went well with the redbrick and surrounding green grass.

The number on the front of the house read 401 and you looked down at your phone again to the check the address on the email shown there.

_401 St. Cecilia Dr._

You were definitely in the right spot.

Walking up the steps that matched the stone path, you rang the doorbell and clutched the strap of your messenger bag. Nerves pricked the inside of your belly as you faintly picked up the sound of approaching steps. The heavy wooden door was opened and in its place stood a tall, slightly scruffy man dressed in a white button down, black slacks, and thin black tie. Your eyes widened as you took in his handsome face and hypnotically blue eyes. They were the most intense eyes you’d ever seen.

“May I help you?” the gorgeous man asked in a voice that had you nearly buckling at the knees. It was a voice you vaguely remembered hearing before, but it was much more potent in person.

You raised a hand in a clumsy greeting and began with, “Uh, hi, Castiel? I’m Y/n, the one who emailed you about lessons. This is the right place, isn’t it?”

The man smiled and it was all you could do to not fall over from heart failure right then and there. “Of course,” he said, stepping aside and beckoning you in. “I’m so glad you could make it. It’s nice to finally meet you, Y/n.”

“It’s nice to meet you as well,” you responded, returning his smile a bit shyly. 

You walked inside at his invitation, immediately struck by the same sense of wonder you had outside upon first seeing the house. The inside was just as neat and well kept as the outside. You found yourself in a medium sized room, small benches on both sides of the wall next to you, a coat rack to your left, and some shoes piled on the right.

The room had large open doorways on either side of it. One seemed to lead into a dining room. The other looked to lead into a living space where you could spot comfortable looking leather furniture. Directly in front of you were the stairs that led up to the second level.

The walls were painted a muted yellow that complimented the white trim and dark wood furnishings and reminded you slightly of custard or cheesecake. Wooden floorboards creaked softly underfoot as you stepped in further. The windows were open and sunlight and summer smells and noises drifted in. It immediately made you feel comforted and at ease.

“Wow, Castiel, you have such a beautiful home,” you breathed. He seemed to puff up happily at the compliment and he smiled with satisfaction.

“Thank you. I take much pride in keeping a good home.”

Just then, excited barking quite suddenly interrupted whatever response you had. A blur of light gray and brown fur came rushing down the stairs from the upper level and before you could think, strong paws were bombarding you and a friendly tongue was leaving kisses all over wherever it could.

“Oh my!” you exclaimed, laughing and trying in vain to calm the excited dog down.

Castiel quickly snatched the animal by its collar, holding it at bay. The energetic beast shook and whined with unexpressed happiness. It watched you with eyes nearly as blue as the man’s who held him back.

“Atlas! You know better than to jump. Bad boy,” Castiel scolded, the dog finally settling and even looking a bit ashamed. “My deepest apologies, Y/n. He’s a puppy and still just learning. Somehow he knows how to open the doors to the bedrooms, though.”

You laughed happily. “It’s alright, I love dogs. I’ve always wanted one, but never was able. I have a cat though…” you trailed off, inspecting the beautiful creature. He had medium length gray fur that was very light in color with chocolate brown patches and speckles covering his face and body. He titled his head, one ear bent and the other straight, and panted happily under your stare. “What kind of dog is he? He’s very unique looking.”

Castiel, seeming to trust the dog not to freak out further and let go of his dark blue collar in favor of scratching his ears. “He’s an Australian Sheppard/Lab mix. I named him Atlas because all his markings reminded me of countries on a map.”

“That’s so cool,” you grinned, about to reach out but stopping and glancing at Castiel.

“You can pet him,” he assured you, smiling and patting the dog’s side.

Extending your hand, you let the young animal sniff you first before running your fingers through the soft fur framing his face. The dog’s tail thumbed against the floor and he wiggled closer to you. You sighed happily as you scratched his ears and back.

“What a good boy,” you praised, taking your hand back and standing up when Castiel did the same.

Castiel turned to you. “Shall we get started?” he motioned to the room on the right, disappearing around the corner and followed by Atlas.

You kicked off your shoes and followed timidly behind. With all the distraction you had almost forgotten why you were here in the first place.

After a very recent, very messy, breakup from a man you had invested five years of time in, you had decided to seek out some new experiences at the gentle coaxing of your sympathetic friends and parents. Something they insisted would help the “healing process.”

Having played when you were younger, taking up piano again seemed like a great opportunity when you were skimming the newspaper one day and spotted an ad. It was directed at people of all ages, but what had initially caught your interest was who the instructor would be.

Castiel was a bit of a local “celebrity” of sorts. He was known for playing shows around some of the town’s swankier establishments and was featured on many local and regional radio shows. You didn’t know him personally, hadn’t even seen the man before, but his name was well known in the small community you called home.

You contacted him the same day you had seen the ad, opting for email instead of phone call (talking on the phone with strangers was always an uncomfortable affair for you). You had been impressed by the swiftness of his response and began negotiating a price for lessons.

Although he was well off – a fact that was more evident now that you had seen his house – Castiel was not greedy and you got away with a very reasonable price. It helped that it was also his off-season and most of his students were younger children enjoying their summer vacations.

You had both settled on a Saturday to meet for your first lesson. It was the 25th of July and the sun was beating down warmly. You had driven from your apartment downtown, navigating the busy late morning traffic to the nice neighborhood where Castiel’s home was located. It wasn’t too far from your place, but definitely further than you wished to travel on foot.

The soft sounds of piano music began to drift from the room you had entered. Turning the corner, your eyes scanned the large living room before they settled on Castiel. One side of the spacious room seemed to be devoted to being a den, harboring the leather furniture you had spotted earlier, a coffee table with matching end tables, and one of the biggest televisions you had ever seen. The other side of the room, which was raised a step higher, was home to the baby grand piano at which Castiel sat. Behind him were a set of French doors that led to a nice patio and sizeable backyard surrounded by a red wooden fence. There was a pair of tall bookshelves that were full of titles and other little knickknacks here and there.

Approaching the piano, Castiel stopped playing and scraped his eyes up your body. His look held something unidentifiable that made you shift from foot to foot, tugging at the hem of your blouse.

Castiel motioned to the space beside him on the piano bench.

“Have a seat,” he smiled.

Removing your bag, you opened it and pulled out a few piano books before setting it on the floor and joining him. The close proximity allowed you to take in the way he smelled – like the outdoors on a warm summer evening mixed with a musk of his own – and you had to suppress a shudder of pleasure.

You set the books on the stand and said, “These are the only ones I could find. I think the other ones are at my parents house.”

Castiel simply smiled. “That’s fine. Is there anything you know from memory still? You had mentioned you took piano for seven years. That’s pretty impressive.”

You shrugged. “I can try. I started when I was ten, though. It’s been awhile since I stopped.” You cracked your knuckles and found your position on the keys, pressing a few chords experimentally.

You took a deep breath and began to play a simple song you remembered from your childhood. You could feel Castiel watching you intently and tried not to let it distract you. The music flowed through you as you concentrated. Your fingers fumbled a couple of times – you were definitely rusty – but overall you were impressed with yourself. It felt nice to play again.

When you had finished, Castiel clapped softly.

“Very good,” he praised you, his expression sincere. You could see why this man was such a highly rated instructor. He had a knack for making one feel pretty at ease. “Now how about you try playing from some sheet music. Start with something you brought.”

Grinning, you rifled through the books until you found the one you wanted. You held it up eagerly.

“Do you like Elton John?”

Castiel grinned as well.

“I love Elton John.”

-

The lesson went on for about an hour. Castiel had you play mostly what you wanted before challenging you with some material he had near the end. He gave gentle direction when you couldn’t get something down and offered commendation when you could.

In what seemed like a long while, you found you were actually having fun. The breakup had left you feeling broken and unlike yourself. You were slipping towards depression – if you weren’t already there – and your state of mind usually wasn’t the nicest. Pain and fear had taken over your heart, causing you to become hardened and slightly bitter.

And yet, in just one hour of your life you found your spirits lifting, even if it was only for a short while.

After the lesson had concluded you and Castiel sat outside on the patio while Atlas ran around the yard. You sipped on iced tea that Castiel had offered you and listened to the man talk about his experiences teaching.

“I didn’t realize how much I’d come to love it,” he confessed. “It’s an amazing feeling watching my students grow. Music is powerful, and I’m happy to be able to show that to others.”

You nodded along, hearing what he was saying but distracted all the same. Castiel had removed his tie, leaving the first two buttons of his shirt undone, and had rolled up his sleeves. Sitting forward with his elbows on his knees while the sun illuminated his skin and made his eyes sparkle, he looked very much like a male model doing a summer photo shoot. It was enough to make you feel frumpy in your simple jean shorts and floral blouse. At least you hadn’t needed to pull your hair up today. The wavy curls fell over your shoulders to about breast length and you felt it looked pretty nice.

“What’s your degree in, Y/n?” Castiel asked and brought you out of the trance he so easily put you in.

“Uh, English and education,” you answered.

Castiel seemed interested as he asked, “What grades do you teach?”

His sincerity made you smile. “College, actually. Introduction to Writer’s Comp.”

“Wow,” he whistled. “And you’re how old?”

“27,” you answered with a blush. “You?”

Castiel’s expression turned playful. “How old do you think I am?”

You looked closely at his face, trying to keep from blushing even more as he leaned closer to you. A smile tugged at your lips.

“You are… 30?” you guessed. He chuckled. 

“Close. 32.” 

“Alright. And is this normal for you?” you questioned, leaning back in your chair and taking a long drink from your glass of iced tea. You licked your lips and could have sworn you saw Castiel’s eyes follow the movement.

“Is what normal?” His tone was laced with confusion.

You gestured around you. “Offering your students iced tea and inviting them to chat out on your gorgeous patio.”

He tilted his head and smiled coyly. “I guess not, but I don’t have any other students so close to me in age.”

You frowned slightly. “What’s that supposed to mean?” you said with a pout. You didn’t know what it was about this man, but you felt like you had known him forever. Besides the disruptive and increasingly lewd thoughts he put in your head, you really enjoyed being around him.

“It’s a good thing,” Castiel assured you with that deliciously deep, gruff voice of his. “It’s been awhile since I’ve had such pleasant company as yourself.”

You went red with embarrassment and before you could respond, your cell phone chirped alerting you to a text message. It was your mother. You had forgotten that you were meeting her for lunch today and jumped up from your seat.

“Shit,” you cursed. Castiel stood as well and looked at you with concerned eyes.

“Is everything alright?”

“No,” you told him, tapping out a quick reply. “I have to go. I forgot I had lunch plans with my mom.” You looked up at the man and told yourself the disappointment that crossed his features was a figment of your imagination. “Are we on for the same time next week?” you asked, maybe a bit too eagerly.

“Yes, of course,” he answered, eyes brightening and a smile upturning the corners of his yummy mouth. You immediately expelled that thought from your head.

“Alright, well… thank you for everything today,” you said sincerely and extended your hand.

He clasped your offered hand with his – sparks igniting your skin and shooting up your arm like wildfire – and shook it gently. The look in his eyes told you he felt whatever you had too, and you couldn't stop yourself from nervously wetting your lips.

“The pleasure’s all mine,” he told you seriously, voice holding a note of some emotion you couldn’t place. His words rung in your ears as you grabbed your things and left, all the while feeling his watchful blue gaze upon your back.


	2. Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this has turned out to be a lot longer than I expected and I added a third part. The slow build tag should be taken seriously, but now we're getting to the good stuff. Part three is written and being edited!! Thanks again for reading!

Lunch with your mom was pleasant. You went to your favorite café that was downtown only a few streets away from your apartment. She asked about your day so far and you told her about your piano lesson. The joy in her eyes made you feel good. For the past few months it seemed that every relative, friend, and coworker had been regarding you with a perpetual, underlying, sympathetic pity.

It was driving you insane.

Nevertheless, you knew it was only because they were concerned about you, because just a few months ago your five-year relationship with a man you desperately loved ended. And when it did, it happened to be your wedding day.

Tyler was the perfect boyfriend when you had started dating at twenty-two. You had met on the campus at which you now worked. He was a medical school student and you were going for education. The sparks flew and you both fell in love hard and fast.

The relationship was great, you both remaining close throughout the years. You knew he was the one, dreamed of the day he’d drop to one knee for you, and when that day came you didn’t hesitate to say yes.

And that’s when it all changed. He started growing distant. He always seemed more stressed out. His fuse was short, his temper would flare, but he never hit you. Sometimes you wondered if it had been better if he did.

You moved in together, but you had never felt more alone in that time than you had in your whole life. He was constantly cancelling plans and going out with friends instead. It seemed like he was avoiding you, and it hurt you to the core. Still you argued with yourself. You convinced yourself he was just living up the bachelor life before the big day. You held on to the thought that things would go back to the way they were, that everything was going to be okay.

Your wedding date was set for Valentine’s Day. Before everything changed, you and Tyler laughed at the obvious cliché together, thinking it would be a blast. After, the idea just seemed stupid to you. But you let yourself get excited and hope beyond all hope that everything was going to get better from there.

You had just gotten your dress on, your makeup and hair done in perfection. You looked beautiful, but you felt sick. Something was wrong… you just knew.

Tyler had come to you then, not able to meet your eye, and in front of your mother and all your bridesmaids he had told you he couldn’t do it. He wasn’t ready for married life. He looked you in the face finally and told you he just didn’t love you anymore.

You had never been so humiliated, so hurt, or so broken in your whole life. 

You spent the first month drinking a lot, having to move back in with your parents until you found a place to live. You started seeing a therapist and that helped a little. You refused medication – never one to enjoy taking pills – and eventually stopped going to your appointments.

You found a nice apartment downtown, moved in, and started picking up the pieces of your broken life. The night was the hardest. Something about going to bed alone with nothing but your thoughts caused the panic to set in. You’d wonder what would become of you, if you’d ever find someone again. You’d feel guilty knowing how you made your family and friends struggle with your pain. They didn’t deserve that burden, and it hurt you deeply to know you were the cause of it.

The nights were still the hardest, but things were definitely better than before. You adopted a cat – an old boy who had been at the shelter for close to three years, nearly half his life – and that helped. He was a loving orange and white tabby you affectionately named Soup Can since he had been a stray before his shelter life.

You felt like you were on the right track, and seeing the love in your mother’s eyes reassured you that you were correct to assume so.

-

After lunch you spent the rest of the day lazing around in the warm sunshine and reading on the small balcony of your apartment. Soup Can enjoyed the weather with you, silently keeping you company.

When the shadows began to grow longer and your stomach hungry once again, you checked your phone and noticed a new email.

Upon further inspection, you found it was from Castiel and opened it curiously (and with much more anticipation than you would have liked).

_Hello Y/n,_

_I really enjoyed our lesson today and wanted to let you know I think you have a lot of promise as a piano student.  
_ _I also wanted to say I think I enjoyed our conversation even more and wanted to give you my personal number in case you felt like keeping in contact outside our lessons.  
_ _Feel no pressure to contact me in this manner if you wish not to do so. I just felt you should know the option is there._

 _Sincerely,  
__Castiel_  

At the bottom of his email was his number highlighted in blue and ready to be saved into your phone.

You could do nothing but stare.

What did it mean? Was he just being friendly? Did he want you to text him? Your heart was thudding in your chest at an unhealthy rate. You pressed the number and saved it to your contacts. That was the least you could do, right?

 _But should you text him?_ you asked yourself, staring at the number.

You decided to eat first.

-

After your dinner your evening seemed to move agonizingly slow. You kept throwing glances at your phone, debating whether or not you should send Castiel a message.

When it was late enough to justify going to bed, you brushed your teeth and washed your face. Throwing on some night shorts and a cotton tee, you climbed under your covers. Settling in, you stared up at the ceiling, phone on your chest.

Heavenly blue eyes and heartfelt smiles filled your mind. You could still hear his gruff voice clear as day, the sound pleasant in a way that made your body ache with unbidden desire.

 _Pull it together,_ you reprimanded yourself. _You had only just met the man and it wasn’t that long ago that you were in the arms of someone else… Even if that someone had left you shattered._

You tried to talk yourself out of it, but a few months were a long time. Grabbing your phone, you brought up Castiel’s number and typed him a quick text.

 _You:  
_ _Hey, sorry it’s so late. This is Y/n and this is my number_

You hit send before you could think better, closing your eyes. The chirp of your phone startled you. You didn’t think he’d reply so fast – if at all. 

 _Castiel:  
_ _It’s great to hear from you. I hope the rest of your day went well_

 _You:  
_ _It did, thanks. And you?_

You noticed he was already writing a reply and wondered what he was doing.

 _Castiel:  
_ _It was a good day. I’m in bed now. Atlas and I ran 7 miles_

Images of Castiel shirtless and sweaty after a long run came to mind and the thoughts had you crossing your legs. A few months was a **_very_** long time…

Your phone chirped again.

 _Castiel:  
__I’ve been looking forward to hearing from you, by the way_  

You exhaled shakily through your nose and considered your reply.

 _You:  
_ _I’m in bed too. Well, I really appreciated your email_

 _Castiel:  
_ _It’s no problem to speak the truth. I suppose you’re tired. I’ll let you get to sleep. Goodnight, Y/n (:_

The smiley face at the end made you giggle. You bid him sweet dreams and set your phone off to the side. You rolled over then and closed your eyes, soon falling into the first easy sleep you'd had in awhile.

-

_Talented, dexterous hands roamed your body and sent electric volts skittering over your skin. You moaned with wanton desire as a pair of warm lips pressed kisses to your neck and bare shoulders._

_When you opened your eyes, all you could see was blue – the kind that looked like heaven and earth had come together into one – shimmering and shining. The hands pressed against you, exploring all of your tender spots._

_The ache between your thighs was unbearably intense, and just as you felt him there, sliding into the tight, wet heat, his name fell from your lips…_

_“Castiel!”_

You awoke with a start, sweaty and slick with arousal, and looked around your room. The morning light was still dim, suggesting it was pretty early yet, and you allowed yourself to collapse back against the sheets.

Chest heaving as you caught your breath, all you could think was one thing:

You were most definitely in trouble now.

-

The next six days went by in a blur. You worked your summer job as a part time supervisor in a small retail store, made revisions on the curriculum for the upcoming start of the school year, and enjoyed the beautiful weather.

Castiel had continued to text you after that first night and if you didn’t know better, you’d think he was flirting with you on occasion. You tried not to dwell on that, but it was difficult when every single night he played the lead in all of your dreams. 

When Saturday came, you drove to Castiel’s home feeling a troubling mix of excited anticipation and nervous trepidation. You had spent a little extra time on your makeup and hair, dressing in a casual skirt that was lightweight and soft pink in color with a white blouse, and you hoped it didn’t look like you were trying too hard.

Parking on the street, you climbed out of your car and followed the familiar stone path up to the heavy wooden door. You rang the doorbell and waited.

When the door opened, Castiel pinned you with a grin that knocked the air out of your lungs.

“Welcome back, Y/n. It’s great to see you again.”

You offered him a small smile. “Thanks, Cas. It’s nice to see you too.”

He ushered you in and you didn’t miss the way his eyes trailed over your body, lingering a bit on your bare, sun-kissed legs. The look was a vivid reminder of the dreams you’d been having. It caused heat to surface all over your body.

The lesson started right away without much preamble and again you found yourself getting lost in the music. You started where you left off with some sheet music Castiel had provided for you. It was a sonata by Mozart and you played through with relative ease at first until you reached a section you hadn’t practiced yet. There was a chord progression you couldn’t quite get down and, still fumbling on your third try, Castiel stirred to life beside you.

He reached out, gently taking your hands and guiding them over the black and white keys.

“Like this,” he mumbled, voice low and face so, _so_ close to yours. 

You turned your head without thinking and discovered he had done the same. You came face to face with Castiel and stopped. Your noses were nearly brushing and you could count the hairs of his scruff if you felt sp inclined. His eyes were gorgeous this close – a stormy shade of blue – and something in his gaze sent a bolt of desire shooting directly between your thighs. All trains of thought were derailed and you felt the hands guiding you trail up your wrists in feather-light movements.

You couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, and couldn’t look away as Castiel began to lean in, slowly closing what little distance there was between your lips. Just as your inhibitions dissipated and your eyes fluttered shut and you could just _barely_ feel the beginning press of his lips against yours…

The front door swung open and a loud male voice shouted out, “Hey, Cas!! You here?”

Castiel and you both jumped back from each other, your hand flying to you mouth to conceal your surprised squeak. Atlas came barreling down the stairs, barking and running around in circles with his excitement and you heard a second male voice call the dog’s name.

Two men entered the room you were in and Cas stood from his place on the piano bench to address them. It was almost funny how irritated he looked.

“Sam, Dean, what are you doing here? I told you I had a lesson during this time.” He didn’t even try to disguise how annoyed he was. The taller of the two punched the shorter one in the arm.

“See, Dean? I told you, and you don’t listen.”

Dean actually looked a bit embarrassed now and he rubbed the back of his head. “Shit, sorry, Cas.” However, his eyes landed on you and he immediately perked up. “Who’s this?” he asked with a charming grin.

You couldn’t stop your embarrassed giggle. “I’m Y/n.”

“She’s a friend and a student,” Castiel stated, making you look back at him in shock. He smiled at you, but there was something underneath it. “That’s Dean and his brother Sam. They are good friends of mine… even if they tend to forget their manners.”

“We can come back later,” Sam said. “Really. We didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“Yeah, we were just gonna invite you to the lake with us. It’s hot as hell out there,” added Dean.

Castiel looked like he was about to turn them away but you cut him off, assuring the three men, “I can take my lesson another time. It’s no trouble.”

Castiel frowned. “Don’t be ridiculous, Y/n. This is your time slot. I don’t want to be unprofessional.”

You fought hard not to snort at the irony of his words. The guy wants to be a professional and not just a moment before he was about to kiss you.

Your stomach flipped excitedly just thinking about it.

“Really,” you tried again. “It’s no big deal, Cas.”

“Well, would you like to come with us?” he asked suddenly, fixing you with those tantalizingly blue eyes again. “There’s room for her, right Sam? Dean?” 

“Of course,” Sam shrugged and smiled. “Why not?”

“Yeah, the more the merrier,” Dean agreed. 

“I don’t know, guys,” you started uneasily. “I don’t have a swimsuit or anything.” 

“Well, we could go get it,” Castiel offered. 

You blushed. “I wouldn’t want to be a burden…”

“Bullshit!” Dean grinned. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

-

It hadn’t taken much more coaxing before you relented and decided to tag along. Sam and Dean seemed to be really cool and you found it quite easy to get along with them. The four of you plus Atlas clambered into Dean’s car (a really beautiful Chevy Impala) and you directed them to your apartment.

Upon arrival, you excused yourself to go upstairs and promised you’d be fast. Just as you were opening your door, Castiel’s fingers tentatively brushed your shoulder, causing you to pause, and he sent you an imploring look.

You furrowed your eyebrows together. “Did you… Wanna come see my apartment?” you asked unsurely.

He smiled, gaze locked on you. “I would like that.”

Your thoughts raced as you and Castiel made your ways inside and climbed the stairs to your third floor unit. You tried not to let him see your shaking hands as you pulled your keys from your bag and unlocked the door. His eyes were burning holes in the back of your head and tension was hanging heavily in the air. You had a feeling that this was a turning point… and you weren’t sure which direction things would take. 

You stepped inside and Castiel followed. He closed the door and you sort of meekly gestured around yourself.

“Well… this is it.”

But Castiel wasn’t paying attention to the apartment. His fierce blue gaze was fixated on you still and it was incredibly unnerving. The intensity level of Castiel’s emotions and actions had your head spinning. This man would be the death of you.

“We were interrupted earlier,” he began in that rough baritone of his.

You nodded. “Yeah… we were…”

He took a couple slow steps towards you. “I think we should pick up where we left off...”

You considered him for a moment and attempted to squash the pang of lust that flashed through you. He approached you cautiously, seeming to sense you were unsure, and stopped a few inches away. If you only leaned in just a  _little…_

You looked up into Castiel’s ruggedly handsome face, weighing your options, trying to find a reason to back down. In the end, you couldn’t – or perhaps you didn’t want to anymore – and finally decided it was now or never.

“I don’t have a piano here,” you confessed with a coy smile, glancing openly at his tempting mouth.

Castiel couldn’t conceal his smirk before he finally pressed his lips to yours.


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter and the longest! But there will be a short epilogue as well. (: Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa!! It's been a VERY long time. I want to sincerely thank EVERYONE who has read this and waited so patiently. The comments I get are beautiful and I love them all with my whole heart. I am so very sorry for not posting in such a horribly long time. I recently went through a lot of changes in my life - the biggest being put into a mental health facility for awhile and finally starting the long process of battling my depression. It's been... extremely difficult, but I can't even begin to explain how much it has also helped me in just a short period of time. The next story I'm working on will be themed around that and, much like all my stories, will have events and situations that greatly mirror experiences I have had.
> 
> Anyways, this story is un-beta'd and I will be going through and trying to correct all grammatical and spelling errors. I will not be taking the story down for that and there won't really be any major content changes, so there's no need to reread the whole thing (unless you wanted to, then by all means feel free!).

The kiss woke something inside that you had buried deep after the breakup. The slide of Castiel’s mouth against yours stirred up the desire you had tried so hard to ignore. Now that you finally tasted him, finally let his hands roam your body in a velvety caress, you didn’t think you’d ever be able to stop.

You pressed your body against his in feverish need, gripping the fabric of his t-shirt in your hands and allowing him to lick into your mouth. He explored you thoroughly, tongue rubbing yours, counting your teeth, tickling the roof of your mouth. His hands had wandered down your sides, over your hips, and then behind to your ass. He pulled your lower half roughly into his, grinding against you in unabashed need.

You broke the kiss with a breathless gasp.

“My apologies,” Castiel panted after a moment, hands coming up to tenderly hold your face. “I’ve just been wanting to do that since you knocked on my door.”

“This is crazy,” you laughed as panic began to poison your mind. “We’ve literally known each other a week.”

“That’s long enough to know I want this,” Castiel said seriously. “And to see that you do, too.”

You bit your lip in consideration. Castiel’s heavenly blue eyes were flitting over your face, trying to get a read on your thoughts. You did want this, but you couldn’t stop worrying. You were terrified of jumping into something too soon.

You let out a shaky exhale and whispered, “It’s not that simple.”

Castiel’s face fell, his eyes harboring what looked like guilt. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize…” he trailed off when you tentatively touched his chest.

“You’re right, though. I do want this. But there are… things you need to know.”

Castiel pressed his forehead against yours, never letting your gaze fall from his. “We go at your pace. I swear.”

You pressed forward again and kissed him lightly, savoring the feel of his lips and fingers. Humming into the kiss, you smiled against his lips.

“We’re probably being rude to your friends,” you mumbled, pulling away only to have Castiel chase your mouth and plant another kiss there.

“It’s a possibility, but they were rude to interrupt us earlier.”

You shook your head and smoothed your hands down his defined chest. “They didn’t know, no need for us to be petty.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Castiel said as he released you. “But this isn’t over if you don’t want it to be.”

The promise in his gaze was penetrating and exhilarating. You suppressed a shudder of delight and went to your room to pack your things.

-

The rest of the day was fantastic. You got to know Sam and Dean pretty well and really enjoyed their company. They were brothers who owned a local auto shop that was pretty successful. They treated you like you had known them for years, and it made you feel like you fit in. You also got to know Castiel even better, which was good and bad since he kept fixing you with hungry looks when the others weren’t looking. He was an incredibly interesting person. His family was wealthy while he was growing up and that allowed him to get ahead early. And although he came from a privileged background, he stayed humble and believed in being independent.

He fascinated you to no end. It was almost as if he wasn’t fully human. Castiel was wise beyond his years, unflappably patient, and tenderly kind (not to mention insanely gorgeous. It was absurd). His natural instinct was to help. He opened himself to you – his emotions intense but pure. He didn’t put on any front. He was who he was and you found yourself growing fonder of him by the minute.

Everyone had a blast. You all swam, played fetch with Atlas, drank some beer, and grilled bratwursts and hamburgers (you found that Castiel especially loved hamburgers) on a small, charcoal grill. There was lots of laughter and fun, and for the first time in a long time you didn’t have a care in the world. Then as the day wound down and night began to fall, the guys and you packed up and began to trek home. You went with Castiel to his place to get your car. After farewells to the brothers and promises to hang out again soon, Sam and Dean drove off leaving you, Castiel, and Atlas standing outside Castiel’s home.

The night air was clean and pleasantly warm, the streetlights casting shadows over yours and Castiel’s faces as you turned to one another. It should’ve been awkward, you thought, after everything that had happened, but all you felt was a sharp pang of disappointment as you pulled your keys from your bag.

“I hope you enjoyed yourself today,” Castiel began then looked sheepish. “And sorry again about the lesson.”

You smiled and stepped a bit closer to the man in a moment of bravery. “It’s not a problem, really. You can make it up to me another time.”

Castiel mirrored your movements, drawing close to your form and breathing in your scent. He reached out to you, gently grasping one of your hands and pressing his larger palm into your small one.

“And how would you like me to make it up to you?” he asked in that low voice that made you feel like swooning.

“A kiss,” you said with a teasing swipe of your tongue across your lips.

Castiel’s grip on your hand tightened and you could see the unmasked yearning in his beautiful eyes. He leaned in close, ghosting his lips over yours just barely, and muttered, “You deserve so much more than just a kiss. How about a date?”

You stiffened and he pulled away, looking at you with open confusion and concern.

“Did I offend you?”

You answered quickly, “No!” and shook your head, trying to shake the anxiety flooding your veins. “It’s just been awhile since I’ve been asked on a date…”

Castiel’s eyes softened and he looked at you with such admiration that it made your heart swell.

“Thank you for your honesty. We don’t have to go, but I assure you I will respect every single one of your wishes if you choose to accept my offer,” he promised.

His words washed over you like a warm wave and you couldn’t stop yourself from rising to the tips of your toes and closing the distance between your mouth and Castiel’s. The anxiety you were feeling was temporarily relieved at the taste and pleasant slide of the man’s lips.

He kissed you like he meant it with his fingers in your hair, his body pressed to yours. You sighed happily into the kiss and he took that as invitation to slip in his tongue and massage yours into a slow dance. The kiss wasn’t as rushed as your first, but it was just as passionate – just as needy and hot – and the taste of his want was powerful. Your toes curled and breath caught with this kiss. Lust slammed into you like a freight train and when you felt his teeth graze your supple lower lip, you couldn’t contain your moan.

Groaning your name, Castiel pressed forward more. His mouth claimed yours again and you submitted, rolling your tongue along his as he slipped his fingers from your hair, down your neck, and over your sides. You quivered in his touch and didn’t realize you were grinding against him so close until you felt his semi-hardened length through the fabric of his swim trunks. You gasped into the kiss, hands gripping onto his shoulders for anchorage.

“Castiel,” you whimpered, bucking your hips against his, which caused him to growl low in his chest. Something fragile inside of you snapped and when Cas’s hands drifted up your stomach and over your breasts, you gladly waved goodbye to your inhibitions.

His skilled hands moved down to your hips again and with a wet noise he broke the kiss but continued to hold you close. You were both breathing heavily with swollen lips and lust-darkened eyes. He looked positively debauched, and you’re sure you did too.

“I’m guessing it’s safe to assume you’re agreeing to a date, then,” Castiel panted.

Your lust-clouded mind wasn’t functioning on a vocal level just yet, so you simply nodded.

Castiel leaned in again and kissed you once more slowly before releasing you. He seemed to redden at his obvious arousal and you wanted nothing more than to reach out and clear his mind of any embarrassment he may have been feeling.

Atlas whined at the man’s feet and that seemed to bring you both back to Earth. Still, you couldn’t calm your racing heart as Cas reached out and brushed a lock of your hair behind your ear.

“Does Monday work for you? I’m free anytime after 7 and can come pick you up.”

Nervously, you nodded again. “Yeah, that sounds perfect.”

With a smile, Castiel bid his farewell, stealing one last kiss before leading Atlas to go indoors.

You turned to your car, still shaking from the intensity of the kiss, and climbed inside. The endorphins and adrenaline swamping your system began to die off and the panic began to settle in once more.

You had just agreed to a date with a man who you barely knew - the first date in over five years you had been on with someone other than your ex. Okay, so Castiel was an amazing person. And he could kiss like it was some type of fine art. And he made you feel more alive than you had ever felt – even more so than your ex. But did that really justify you jumping into this?

You could be hurt, and the thought terrified you.

-

When you made it home, you snuggled Soup Can – who had greeted you at the door – before jumping in the shower.

The hot spray of water helped to wash away the stress and ease the anxiety playing with your head. However, it didn’t do anything to erase the memory of Castiel’s hands, his body, or his searing kiss. You could hear his voice, see his smile, taste him on your tongue and it was so much to handle you found your hand drifting down to the place between your legs that had been ignored for so long.

You were wet, but not from the water. Your arousal allowed for an easy slide as you pressed one finger into yourself and sighed in relief. The pleasure radiated outwards and around your whole body as you touched yourself. You used one arm to support you up against the tile wall when your fingers found that sensitive bundle of nerves that left you keening.

You brought yourself to orgasm with the water beating down on your back and Castiel’s name on your lips. Breathing shakily, you gathered your scattered thoughts, finished your shower, and went to bed.

-

That night you dreamt that it was your wedding day, but instead of your ex it was Castiel saying those hurtful things to your face in front of your friends and family. When you awoke, you couldn’t shake the feeling of doom that settled low in your belly.

Castiel had texted you and you couldn’t bring yourself to reply just yet. Your warring emotions were making you sick and you honestly began to reconsider the date you had accepted.

But yet, deep down you knew you were being ridiculous. Castiel was great. He was nothing like your ex was and you shouldn’t have been letting your doubts creep in like they did. You fought against what you were feeling and tried to allow yourself to just enjoy the attention you were getting. Was it really a bad thing to move on?

Your phone beeped and you glanced at it.

 _Castiel:_  
_Do you like Italian food? I have an idea for a restaurant I want to take you to_

Fighting back a huge grin, you grabbed your phone to text him back.

-

Monday night found you in Castiel’s neatly kept car. You wore a cute dress in baby blue with a white lace cardigan and Castiel looked dashing in his usual black slacks and white button down, but this time he wore a tie that matched your dress. You thought it was a little silly, but he insisted and you couldn’t resist how sweet it also was.

The conversation in the car was light hearted and easy, but your heart still hammered in your chest. Despite all your best efforts, you couldn’t keep yourself from feeling the fear fill you chest. Part of you wanted to leave, to make some excuse to go back home, but another part of you screamed to get a grip.

This war of emotions continued on until you were sat across from Castiel in a nice Italian bistro. The evening air was warm, a little humid, but windless and perfect for a meal on the outdoor patio. A fire pit nestled in the corner of the patio along with candles and some small twinkling overhead lights set a sensual, romantic mood. The sun was still peaking just barely over the horizon, night setting in fast, and you gazed out. Castiel was speaking to you about something on the menu but you were far too distracted. You just couldn’t calm the anxiety that had a death grip on your mind.

“Are you alright, Y/n?”

Hearing your name, you snapped your eyes back to Castiel and blushed at your obviously rude behavior.

“What was that?” you asked sheepishly.

Castiel’s eyebrows furrowed with concern. “I asked if you were alright. You’ve seem distracted since I picked you up.”

Your blushed deepened and you hung your head in shame. “I know, I’m sorry,” you atoned with a deep sigh.

Castiel leaned forward and you glanced up to see his intent gaze clouded with worry. You wanted to kiss that look away and that somehow made your panic rise.

“Would you like to talk about what’s bothering you?”

That was tempting, but you were unsure.

“It’s not really, uh… first date appropriate,” you murmured.

“Nonsense,” Castiel declared with such conviction you looked up at him fully. His expression was so open and honest you couldn’t help but feel bad. You knew you could trust him. You knew you could.

 _Besides,_ you thought to yourself. _Telling him would be the ultimate test, right? He will either stay or leave afterwards..._

You grabbed your napkin, fiddling with it nervously before carefully launching into your story.

“This is the first date I’ve been on in a _long time_ ,” you started tentatively.

Castiel nodded. “I remember. It’s been a while for me as well.”

You hummed in agreement, hesitating before starting again with a shaky breath.

“I was semi-recently in a long term relationship. It ended in February. I dated that man for five years… We had met on the campus I work at as an instructor and things were amazing. I was so happy, and I thought he was too.”

Castiel was completely focused on you, absorbing every word you were telling him. His undivided attention threw you off a bit. You took a sip of the wine Castiel had ordered for you both and the rich taste and alcohol comforted you a bit. You continued on.

“After dating four years, he proposed to me…” you tried to ignore the way Castiel’s jaw tightened. “… And that’s when everything changed.

“He grew distant. He wasn’t _mean_ , I guess, but he wasn’t affectionate anymore either. He started going out a lot and ignoring me. I wasn’t a priority in his life. Still, we moved in together. I don’t know why – it only seemed to fuel the fire. We started fighting a lot. After that, I was usually in the apartment alone. He would never invite me out, we would barely speak… and I still stayed with him. Every now and then after a big enough fight he would get nice again and I would get hopeful, but it never lasted long. He was all I knew, my first long term relationship, and I kept holding on to the idea that once our wedding day came it would all get better. I just kept telling myself ‘he proposed, he loves you, things will change.’ But they never did, and on our wedding day he came into the room I was getting dressed in and…” you didn’t realize you were crying until a tear hit the back of your hand. Castiel was rigid in his chair, eyes steely. You looked away to dab your eyes and whispered weakly, “… He told me he didn’t love me… in front of my mom and all my friends.”

You took a deep breath and let it out harshly. Your stomach was in knots as you wiped at your eyes carefully with the tips of your fingers. Timidly, you glanced at Castiel. His demeanor surprised you.

Undisguised hatred and fury turned his cobalt eyes stormy. He was noticeably tense with his hands balled in fists and practically shaking as he glared at the small, dancing candle flame in the center of the table. He looked dangerous and gorgeous just then, like something not of this world, and your stomach flip flopped with apprehension.

“I-I’m sorry if…” you had begun timidly but were cut off promptly.

“Don’t even think about apologizing.” Castiel’s voice was lower and gruffer than usual and the sound had you shifting in your chair with a spark of unsolicited arousal. “You have nothing to be sorry about. The only one that should be sorry is the man that did that to you. If I ever encounter him, I will make sure he pays dearly for his mistake.”

A strange surge of delight warmed your chest at his words; however, it still wasn’t enough to keep the panic away. You tried to smile and it came out a little broken. Castiel noticed and the anger melted from his expression. It was replaced with that same concern from earlier but was now accompanied by something else. At first you thought it was pity, and it angered you, but the way he looked at you wasn’t akin to the way everyone else had. The emotion displayed on his features was something else entirely and it made your heart skip.

He grasped your hand gently and gazed at you. “I don’t wish to offend you, but the thought of anyone hurting you upsets me greatly.”

You stared at him in awe and disbelief, but the waiter appearing to take your orders cut any response you had short.

-

After you both had ordered your meals, Castiel seemed to sense you wanted to change the subject so he respected your unspoken wish. Although you felt a little more at ease after telling him about your past, new questions and concerns buzzed around in your skull. You did everything you could to force those feelings away for the time being and eventually you and Castiel were joking and laughing with reckless abandon.

The food was delicious, the wine was perfect, and the conversation was stimulating and fun. It was liberating to get to talk to someone whose thought processes were so similar to yours in certain ways, and then so different in others. The more you listened and learned, the more you found yourself wanting to know more and more about the man in front of you.

Dessert came and went, and Castiel covered the bill even after you insisted to split the cost. He argued that it was his honor after getting to spend the evening with someone so beautiful. You had immediately shut your mouth and blushed a warm scarlet with gratification.

The ride home was electric. Castiel kept sending you heated glances out of the corner of his eye and would smirk when you would squirm slightly. Outside of your apartment, he kissed you so thoroughly you thought you would just fall over right then and there.

When he pulled away, he still stayed close and mumbled lightly against your lips, “I’d come up, but I don’t put out on the first date.”

You laughed breathlessly, squeezing his biceps and smiling easier than you had in a long, long while.

“I guess it’s nice you have standards,” you giggled in response.

Castiel relished in the sound and kissed you once more before allowing you to leave his embrace. He promised to make plans to do this again before your next lesson, and you eagerly agreed.

-

Things continued like that for quite some time. Castiel was very much the gentleman when it came to dating and was quick to make more and more plans without putting the pressure on you. A month turned to two months since your first time meeting him and fall was underway. School had begun, making both your schedules much more busy, but you were still able to see each other often. Mostly your dates were exclusive to just you and Castiel. Other times Sam and Dean came along and even Atlas liked to join, too. You had to admit to yourself that your life was going pretty well.

The fear and anxiety still screwed with your mind more often than you would have liked, but you fought hard against all your other instincts and insecurities. You kept reminding yourself that Castiel was not your ex. So far you two hadn’t really discussed your past again. He asked a few questions every now and then, but he was incredibly respectful of your boundaries. Sometimes you wondered if he would ever tire of the emotional walls you had built, but you tried not to dwell upon the idea.

It was another pleasant Saturday evening in September that found you curled around Castiel on his couch. The two of you were having a movie date, but a few “innocent” looks and touches had you both pausing the movie and devouring each other right there in the living room.

At this point, your sexual relationship with Castiel was limited to frequent make-out sessions and over the clothes groping and grinding. It wasn’t until recently that you two had taken it up a notch to touching each other naked. You would never forget that night. After dinner at your place, you were feeling especially frisky and Castiel had apparently felt the same. The way that man could use his hands and fingers to pet and stroke and play with you until you were coming apart at heights previously unreached had just about changed your life. And if the noises and praise you got upon your reciprocation (tugging down his boxers and showing him just how talented your mouth could be) were any indication, he had enjoyed himself just as much as you did.

Tonight, however, felt different. The way he was dominating your mouth, pulling you into his lap to straddle him, palming your ass and breasts seemed to send a clear message that your relationship was about to go even further.

You thanked God you wore a set of your best lingerie.

“Fuck!” Castiel growled into your mouth when you nipped his lower lip and bucked against his growing erection at the same time.

His hands were tangled in your hair, yours clutching his shoulders, and all you could think about was how good he tasted, his lips, teeth, tongue, and the way he seemed to make it his very purpose in life to make sure you never went unsatisfied.

After what seemed like an eternity, you both broke for air and stared at each other deliriously. The lust on his face was blatant and you swore you had never seen anything sexier before in your life.

But as he looked up at you catching your breath, his features began to soften – if only just a little – and his hands came down to rest upon either side of your face instead. You began to grow confused at his change in behavior, eyebrows furrowing, so he pulled you in and kissed you gently.

“Before we do this,” he started upon the separation of your lips. “I have to tell you something.”

Your breath caught in your throat and your stomach dropped. Your palms immediately went clammy. He wasn’t… was he?

Castiel closed his eyes briefly, as if mustering his courage, and you went rigid. You knew what was coming – knew what he was about to say – and your fragile mental framework snapped at the severity of the situation. He couldn’t say it. You wouldn’t let him.

Just as the beginnings of the three word phrase started to leave his lips, you jumped from his lap unexpectedly and scrambled away from him.

“Castiel, I think I should go,” you blurted out before you could stop yourself.

The look of confusion and hurt on his face stabbed through you, but your mind was racing and inside you were screaming. _Why did this have to happen!?_ It was going so well.

“I don’t understand,” Castiel rushed, standing up. You were unable to look at him. “I thought… I mean we…”

It wasn’t often that the eloquent man was at a loss for words. You began swiftly gathering your things and fumbling to put on your shoes. A hand grabbed your forearm gently and you stopped to look up at Castiel. His expression was muddy with all sorts of emotions.

“Y/n, please… We can talk about this. Don’t be afraid,” he pleaded softly.

Unshed tears burned at your eyes and a lump was starting to form at the back of your throat. _No_ , you thought. _I can’t do this…_

“Castiel, it’s for the better. I... I’m not good enough for you,” you attempted to explain with a strained tone.

His expression turned serious. “Don’t say that about yourself. You’re perfect, Y/n. You don’t have to run from me, I’m not going to hurt you.”

A few tears had spilled from yours eyes now, dripping in lines down your cheeks. Why couldn’t he see that you just couldn’t handle this?

“You don’t understand,” you argued. “I’m emotionally damaged. You deserve someone so much better. I should have put a stop to this long ago, but I…” you trailed off, failing to find words.

Castiel reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. You watched him, perplexed, as he produced what looked like checks. Upon closer inspection, you could see they were the checks you had written for payment for your lessons. He held them up, staring you in the eye.

“I didn’t cash these because I couldn’t do that to you. The minute I saw you on my doorstep I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it. I couldn’t believe how… how lucky I was. There, standing at my door, was the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on and I get the privilege of spending time with her, learning about her…” He licked his lips in what you guessed was a nervous reaction. “I don’t want your money… I just want you.”

The sincerity that spilled out with his speech coupled with the raw emotion on his face struck you like a bolt of lightening, but you just couldn’t see past the fear of heartbreak that was consuming your soul and seizing your heart. Your insecurities screamed far louder than your desire to be with him. You could see no other way, could find no other options. You shook your head slowly, backing away, and watched him drop his arm with a defeated look that sent guilt surging through your body.

“I just… I can’t…” you whispered with force before turning around and escaping through the door.

You cried the whole way home.

-

A couple days went by and you heard nothing from Castiel. You were a wreck. Depressed, unable to eat much or sleep, and the feelings of dread and guilt were almost too much to handle. Luckily your students were working on papers so class consisted mostly of peer workshops instead of actual instruction. You doubted you would have been able to stand in front of a class and teach much in your state of mind.

It was bad enough that your coworkers and friends had all taken notice of your current emotional condition. You supposed it must have been odd, though. The last couple of months you were so happy – like you didn’t have a care in the world – and now here you were again overcome with grief once more. The worst part? You knew it was all your fault.

You couldn’t believe how foolish you’d been.

-

Day three and still no sign from Castiel. You couldn’t really decide if you wanted to hear from him or not. But, if you really thought about it, you knew the answer deep down.

You wanted _nothing_ more than to be with Castiel. You missed him a ridiculous amount. Your heart ached for his smile, his voice, and his rumbling laugh. You longed for the way he called your name, his hands on your body, and the blue of his eyes. You ached for how happy you felt with him and how it seemed he could peer into your very soul, always knowing how to comfort you. It was undeniable you and Castiel had chemistry from the get-go. You two had just clicked, like two halves separated that had finally found one another. You were so alarmed by his attempted confession because you felt the same.

You loved Castiel.

But you didn’t know how to handle it. The last time you let yourself love, you had gotten burned badly. You couldn’t go through that again. Especially not with someone like Castiel! The man made you feel things in a much deeper and more intense way than your ex ever had. If he could do that, you could only imagine how much he could completely tear you apart.

-

The fourth day had Sam and Dean showing up at your apartment sometime in the early evening. The knock at the door had been unexpected and the two men standing there looking a bit menacing had been even more so.

“We need to talk to you about Cas,” Dean started without any preamble. “Can we come in?

You could only nod and step out of the way to allow them entrance.

“I tried talking him out of this,” Sam said contritely. He looked a little embarrassed. “I don’t think this is really any of our business.”

“The hell it isn’t,” Dean grumbled, crossing his arms and pinning you with a look that would make a weaker soul shy away. You knew Dean well enough by this point to know that somewhere he had good intentions.

“I’d have to agree with Sam,” you hesitantly confessed. “But I’m willing to hear you out anyways.”

“Why did you do that to Cas?” Dean questioned sternly. “I don’t know the whole story, but you should at least give the guy an explanation!”

You turned your gaze downwards and nodded. “You’re right… I should have. I was just so… so…”

“Scared?” Sam finished for you. You looked up at him in surprise and nodded. They both must have caught the deep sadness in your face, the tired and guilty remorse you felt, because both men – Dean especially – suddenly looked a little shamefaced.

“I know you got royally screwed over by your last boyfriend,” Dean continued on, ignoring the shock animating your features. Did Castiel tell them that? What else did they know? “But Cas is different, and he really cares about you.”

“And it’s easy to see why. You’re a really great person,” Sam added.

Dean rolled his eyes, uncrossing his arms and gesturing helplessly. “No need to get all sentimental here. I usually wouldn’t care but I’m the one that has to listen to the guy bitch and moan about it. Seriously. Do you know how much of a buzzkill that can be?” He looked incredibly distressed and irritated just mentioning it.

You stifled a giggle. Even with the mood you’d been in and all the worry and stress blocking your head, these two brothers were able to lift your spirits just a bit. If one thing was for sure, it was that Castiel had a great taste in friends.

“I guess, all we’re asking of you is to just talk to him,” Sam finished. “I know it might be tough, but it might help you, too.”

You agreed softly, knowing without a doubt Sam was right, and bid the two farewell after the conversation ended and they declared they had to get going. You hugged Sam, hesitating at Dean, but he surprised you by embracing you quickly as well.

“Look, it’s just that… Cas is a close friend and you really made him happy. Sorry if we kinda teamed up on you,” Dean whispered in your ear before letting you go.

You gazed up at him with disbelief and a storm of other emotions brewing in your chest. He gave you a bit of a half smile before leaving your apartment and closing the door in his wake.

Bewildered, you slumped down onto the couch in the living room and thought about what you had to do. Sam and Dean were right – you definitely owed Castiel an explanation – and it was time you faced your insecurities and the mistake you made.

You slowly picked up your phone, finding the familiar number in your contacts and pausing. What if he didn’t answer? What if he yelled at you? _Or worse_ , your treacherous mind whispered, _What if he picks up?_

You hit the call button and waited. Whatever happened would and there was nothing you could do about it.

The phone rang twice before you heard his deep voice greet you cautiously over the receiver.

-

You waited anxiously on your couch, Soup Can curled up next to you and snoozing calmly. You watched him with a bit of envy. Oh, how nice being a cat must be.

Castiel was on his way over and you knew he'd be there soon. The call was brief and you couldn’t make out any of the emotions he might’ve been feeling over the phone, but he did sound a little tired. You vaguely wondered if he had been sleeping as little as you had, but you doubted it. He had something he needed to do first, though he _had_ agreed to come over and talk after that, which you hoped was a good sign.

It was a cool night, the air crisp and fresh, and you had the glass door of your balcony open a bit. The scent that rolled in reminded you of Cas and it made your stomach lurch with the anticipation of seeing him.

The minutes seemed to stretch on forever as you fidgeted with your unrest. Soup Can had long since moved to a new spot, disturbed by your constant twitching and bouncing in place. You were just beginning to wonder if he wasn’t going to show up when there was a knock on the door.

You wiped the sweat from your palms on your jeans and quickly crossed the kitchen to the door. You pulled it open, gripping the handle tightly to hide the trembling in your hands. Castiel stood in front of you clad in a light colored trench coat with a suit underneath. His tie matched his eyes. You might have looked a bit too long because Castiel suddenly shifted uneasily.

“I apologize about what I’m wearing. There was a recital this evening and I haven’t bothered to change yet,” he explained to you. His voice must have jump started your muddled mind because you finally moved aside and invited him in.

“No need to apologize. Thanks for agreeing to talk so late,” you countered weakly.

He smelled and looked impeccable, even better than you remembered. You felt like it had been years since you had experienced him (because that was the only word that could sum up what being around him was like), but you knew it had really only been a few days.

Castiel was standing awkwardly in your kitchen when you turned from the door and it made your heart ache to see him feeling so out of place in your presence.

Trying to relax the situation you offered to take his coat but he denied softly.

“I understand that these conversations don’t need to be stretched out and I’d prefer if it wasn’t. I don’t wish to inconvenience you.” His voice was dull and demeanor slightly cold.

You furrowed your brow with your confusion. “What are you talking about?”

Castiel pinned you with a look that became just as confused as yours. “You called me here to end our relationship, correct?”

That was a surprise. You recoiled slightly as if his words had hurt you physically. “No! I mean… Unless that’s what you wanted...”

A glimmer of hope seemed to flit through his blue eyes, but they turned guarded once again a moment after. “I don’t want that. However, I was under the impression you didn’t want me anymore.”

You took a shaky breath and began to pace the kitchen. “Yeah, about that…” you started. “I can’t even begin to – I mean – Cas…” You had your head down, far too nervous to look. You concentrated on your breath and the words you wanted to say. When you finally looked up, the hope in his gaze had returned with a twinkle. “Castiel, I’m sorry I reacted the way I did because, really... I was waiting to hear those words from you. I-I wanted to hear them.” You wet your lips, trembling with fear and anticipation. Your eyes were locked on his.

The air from Castiel’s lungs left him in an audible rush and he stared at you with a plethora of emotions playing across his face. You waited, unsure of what to do, a blush coloring your cheeks. A moment passed where you two just stood suspended in time, staring at each other, before Castiel seemed to spring to life.

“Y/n,” he breathed in a rush and suddenly stepped forward and enveloped you in a warm, tight embrace. “I know you’re scared, and I know you were hurt in the past, but I promise you…" he tightened his hold on you, rocking slightly from side to side. " _I promise you_ …” and then you had begun to cry softly into his shoulder as the tension and stress left your body in waves, your heart jumping with glee as he stroked his fingers through your hair and spoke into the skin of your neck. “I will never, ever hurt you like you were before. I love you, Y/n. I love you and if you just let me show it, you’ll see I’m not like him.”

Before you could say anything else, his mouth was covering yours, warm and inviting, leaving your head spinning. You missed this, him, everything. You let your fear and anxiety fly out the window and kissed him back with every bit of passion you had, clutching to the front of his trench coat, allowing him to pull you impossibly closer.

“I will admit I was upset,” he breathed into your mouth. “But I understand now.”

You nodded, far too absorbed in the way Castiel was licking into your mouth and massaging your tongue with his.

“I’m so sorry,” you kept whispering between his kisses until Castiel finally pulled away to give you a serious look that was downplayed by the swollenness of his lips and the flush on his cheeks.

“No more. You don’t need to be sorry anymore.”

All you could do was nod and reach for him with burning eyes. He held you so tenderly, wiping at your tears with careful fingers. When you turned your face to capture his lips again, the kiss that followed was even better than the first.

You got lost in each other.

Without thinking much about it, you were leading Castiel into your room still absorbed in the kiss. He had begun to shed his outer layers in the process, breaking away from you long enough to also grasp the hem of your shirt and pull it over your head. It was tossed somewhere you couldn’t see.

You started to unbutton his white shirt, tugging it and the matching undershirt from where it was tucked into his pants and getting rid of the garments quickly. Castiel reached behind your back and expertly unclasped your bra. You giggled a little as he ran his fingers teasingly over your naked ribs.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he murmured softly, kissing behind your ear then down your neck just the way you liked it. You shuddered underneath his attentions and bit back a moan when his hands came up to fondle your breasts.

Hooking your thumbs in his waistband, you were able to pull Cas’s body even closer, grinding against him for a moment before working on his belt and zipper. His erection was hard enough to be visible through the restraining fabric.

Backing you up with his body, Cas urged you to get on the bed. You complied easily and watched with anticipation as his pushed his trousers and boxers down and off. Somewhere along the way he had already ridden himself of socks and shoes and was now completely naked before you. It was nothing new per say, but the context was different and you were suddenly very shy. Castiel was a gorgeous human being.

Castiel climbed onto the bed, supporting his body over yours and gazing into your eyes.

“Your turn,” he said in that deep, rough voice of his, smirking teasingly while his hands slid down to undo your jeans.

You lifted your hips as he leaned back to tug the denim and your panties down and off your legs. You silently thanked yourself for remembering to shave that morning.

Once you were left as naked as he was, Castiel paused to stop and take in your body with obvious admiration. Your heart fluttered nervously and instinctively you tried to cover yourself with your arms.

“Don’t be shy,” Castiel purred and coaxed your hands away. He kissed each one. “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever known.”

“Cas…”

“I mean it,” he said, his words stopping you. “Let me show you.” You felt your chest swell with the love you felt for this man. His cobalt eyes held nothing but his honesty, his whole body speaking to you that you had nothing to fear. It was beautiful and just this side of overwhelming and you needed more.

You locked your gaze with his. “I want you, Castiel.”

Eyes darkening further with his lust, Castiel said no more and began to explore your body with kisses and confident caresses. It was all territory he knew pretty well, but it seemed he wanted time to get reacquainted. You raked your nails down his back, keening softly and allowing yourself to get lost in the pleasure.

Once he had lavished your breasts and covered your stomach with hot, open-mouthed kisses and playful nips, Castiel’s hands began to travel up your naked thighs.

A low moan escaped your lips when one finger stroked through your slick soaked folds.

“Always so wet for me,” Castiel growled softly. It was obvious he was holding back.

Spreading your legs a little wider, you rocked against Castiel’s hand. “Please, Cas. I need this.”

Exhaling in a rush, Cas found your entrance and teased it a moment before sliding that one finger inside. Your wetness gave way for an easy entrance and your breath hitched with every movement he made. He quickly added another finger.

“I want to make love to you,” Castiel groaned, fucking your aching pussy with his long, talented fingers. He knew how hot it got you. It would only take a few skilled touches against your clit before you were climaxing.

Taking in the sight of his hard cock, the head dripping with precum and pressed flush to his belly, you couldn’t help but moan an enthusiastic yes.

Shifting, Castiel lined up at your entrance but did not move to do anything else. Instead, the fingers buried deep inside you sped up their pace and he used his thumb to tease your clit mercilessly. His other hand stroked along his shaft slowly.

You were panting, muscles tensing as you threw your head back against the pillows on the bed, heat curling lower and lower in your belly. “Fuck, Cas, I’m so close…”

He persisted in his ministrations, your small noises getting louder and more urgent until finally you began to succumb to the ecstasy. Just as the first wave of a long awaited orgasm began to wash over you, Castiel quickly plunged the full length of his cock inside you.

You cried out, your orgasm ripping through you almost violently after that. Castiel groaned low in his throat. His eyes falling shut and mouth hanging open slightly as he pulled out and thrust into you again with your pussy walls still fluttering around him.

“Holy fuck, Cas!” you hissed through clenched teeth. Your back had arched off the bed and Castiel had wrapped an arm around you there, just above your hips. His other was supporting the rest of his weight. Your legs were spread obscenely wide; his knees were digging into the mattress between them. The position he held you in had him striking a spot inside you that caused stars to flash behind your eyelids.

He set a brutal pace, starting a cadence of skin slapping against skin mixed with both of your moaning. Every few thrusts, Castiel would grit out sweet nothings that perfectly contradicted the way he was fucking you. It had you heady and, still sensitive from your first orgasm, you felt yourself starting to build again with alarming swiftness.

“O-oh God,” you stuttered out, grasping onto Castiel’s shoulders. “’M close, Cas.”

Castiel growled, fucking into you faster. His steady rhythm began to slip – he was close, too. You squeezed yourself around him and revealed in the throaty groan the action pulled from the man. “Fuck, you’re mine. Say you’re mine, Y/n.”

As he commanded you to speak his fingers found your throbbing, sensitive clit. You were so wet, so hot, and it felt so _so good_. You were moaning loudly, straining to form proper words, but when you opened your eyes and caught his intense, lustful gaze the words were dragged from you with a powerful force. “Yours,” you gasped. “I’m yours, Castiel!”

And no sooner had you said it did your second orgasm crash into you, sending you over an edge of pleasure that left your head spinning and body trembling all over. You felt an excessive wetness between your legs as the powerful waves of your climax had you _wrecked_ underneath the hard body of your lover.

Castiel followed you over the edge seconds later, the force of your orgasm drawing his own out with a ragged groan that might have been your name if you had been listening close enough.

His hips stuttered to a stop and you both went limp with your chests heaving and sweat-slick skin sliding together. It was almost too hot, too much, but you couldn’t get enough. When you opened your eyes – when had you closed them? – Castiel was gazing at you with open admiration and still some residual lust from your coupling.

Very delicately he pulled out of you then gentled you both to lying on your sides, facing one another. You were warm and tingly all over, a lazy smile pulling the corners of your mouth and Castiel’s expression mirrored yours. With his cobalt eyes studying your face, you couldn’t help but begin to blush a bit and try to hide your face. Tsking softly, Cas slid two fingers delicately under your chin and tilted your face back up to his.

“No more hiding from me, Y/n. I love you so much, please don’t hide.”

Your heart thumped heavily in your chest and you swallowed around the emotions welling up inside your throat. “I love you, Cas and I’m so sorry for hurting…”

“Don’t,” he chastised tenderly but seriously. “Don’t think about it anymore. We’re starting over as of right now.” He opened his arms, inviting you into his warm embrace. You felt a giddiness, an all encompassing joy, fill your chest and spread outward as you wriggled into his arms and let him wrap his body around you protectively.

 _This_ , you thought to yourself. _This is what you’ve deserved from the beginning_.

Castiel talked to you sweetly after that, telling stories into the soft skin of your neck as he held you and squeezed you gently every time something he said made you giggle. Your eyes began to grow heavy and, sensing your sleepiness, Castiel pulled the blanket over the both of you. Soon you had dozed off, missing the way Castiel watched you with love in his eyes before kissing your hair tenderly and slipping away into sleep as well.

-

When you awoke in the morning, it was to an empty bed but the smell of bacon and pancakes wafting into your room from the kitchen stamped down any and all anxiety you had as you smiled into your pillow.

You got up slowly, grabbing your robe from the hook behind the door and pulling it on before quietly padding out of the room, past the living area and to the entrance of the kitchen.

Castiel stood at the stove in his boxers and undershirt, keeping a careful eye on a pancake on the griddle. You rested a hip against the entryway frame and bit your lip when Castiel turned and winked at you over his shoulder.

“Good morning,” he greeted, his deep voice even rougher with leftover sleep. He grabbed a mug of coffee he must have had ready for you and brought it over, kissing you in the process.

“Good morning to you too,” you answered warmly after he had pulled away and went back to the stove to flip the pancake he had been working on.

You couldn’t keep the grin from your face as you watched the man you love work at the stove and embraced the hopeful prospect that everything was going to be just fine.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The epilogue

You sat at the beautiful baby grand idly stroking the black and white keys before gaining your position and softly starting to play the beginnings of a slow, sweet song. The French doors were open and a summer breeze would roll in every now and then carrying the perfume of flowers and fresh cut grass. Soup Can was resting on the porch, enjoying the sunny weather and pointedly ignoring Atlas as he entertained himself in the yard.

 The song flowed freely from your fingertips and you smiled to yourself. The piano had always had a special place in your heart and now even more so. The bright, yellow sunlight pouring in from the doors and windows caught on the diamond and onyx engagement ring resting proudly on the ring finger of your left hand. You adored the choice, feeling like it well represented the night and day difference of your state of mind and heart, but you adored the man who had presented it to you even more.

 Speaking of, Castiel entered the room carrying a box of blankets and decorative pillows and set it down on the floor next to the couch. You ceased in your playing to instead gaze up at the man you had been with for just about two years. They had been the best years of your life to date. When Castiel had proposed you move in with him shortly before your second anniversary, then dropped to one knee and proposed you also spend the rest of your life with him, you hadn’t felt a single ounce of fear or panic upon saying yes through tears of overwhelming happiness. Afterall, the past was passed and you had a very bright future to look forward to.

 “Don’t stop playing, Y/n. I was enjoying listening to you,” your intended said as he moved over to you and sat down at the space you provided on the piano bench. Castiel wrapped his arm around you and drew you in close, cobalt eyes full of warmth and affection as he kissed your lips with a sugary sweetness. “My beautiful, talented fiancé.”

 You giggled and blushed but rolled your eyes. “You’re such a charmer,” you said teasingly.

 “Pardon me for recognizing that I’m lucky,” Cas teased back, tickling your ribs and delighting in your squeals of faux horror. You tried batting his hands away, but he had you locked in his embrace as he tortured you with a devilish grin.

 Your play session was interrupted by an exasperated groan coming from near the entryway.

 “You guys are sickening,” Dean complained but the slight smile tugging the corners of his mouth gave him away. “Oh yeah, and we're glad we can be your free movers, Cas, as you sit around  and fondle your girlfriend.”

 “Hey,” you justified indignantly. “We’re feeding you, are we not?”

 Sam walked in carrying two lamps. “Yeah, Dean. And if I’m not mistaken I’m pretty sure I saw some pie in the kitchen. It looked homemade. And delicious.” Sam winked at you.

 Dean’s whole face lit up after that and he ran out the door to grab another box, shouting something over his shoulder about getting this done fast so that they could eat. Castiel’s shoulders shook with laughter and he ran a hand through his hair.

 “I can’t believe they're my friends sometimes,” he confessed with a grin.

 You leaned in and kissed him. “I sure am grateful that they are, though." You kissed him once more, humming with content. "But, we should probably go help.”

 “You’re right, of course,” Cas sighed. He stood with a soft groan and held a hand out for you. You smiled up at him, your chest once again swelling with all the love, affection, admiration, and joy you felt for the blue-eyed man.

 Taking his hand, Castiel threaded your fingers and together, shoulders brushing, the two of you went out to the truck with matching smiles.


End file.
